A Plethora of Red

First we have a sympathy case. A background story: you know how I will choose a poor, dusty clearance polish and give it love? I also save mice from glue traps (horrible things, look it up). I found this sad little bottle of polish at my sister's house and brought it to the nail polish hospital.

I forced the lid open with my teeth and then pliers, added some thinner, cleaned off the gunk on the bottle neck and polished away.
















It smells bad. Definitely not 3 free. Colorama. I can't read the back label either, I'm guessing...

Somethingberry Spritzer? Cute name. Cute red, sparkly. My work here is done. I guess I'll give it back to my sister.












And THIS. I looked at this for a long time wanting, but telling myself I had too many reds.

Orly - Haute Red. What to my wondering eyes appeared a wonderful creamy tomato red! Opaque in one coat, looking perfect in two. Here's a little aside: when my gas light comes on I'm famous for saying, "What, are you kidding me? I could go all the way to Virginia and back," and then....














Whoops.

Gotta haul out the gas can in style.


















This next is what I would call "a perfectly serviceable red."

Sinful Colors - #245 Satin Shoes. I believe it. They probably do have 245 reds called Satin Shoes that look like this. Perfectly boring.
















I have a few bones to pick here. The bottle looks like a nice brownish fall red and shows up on the nail as a bit of frosty, plain red. My bottle neck was gunked up and the polish was gloopy, so this was probably returned by someone, but I paid full price for it at the drugstore! Mad.

Here's OPI - DS Ruby. I have a well-documented love of the DS holographics, but this left me nonplussed.







See, I like my reds to have some moxie, and this just falls a little wimpy.

It's pretty, but it's barely there. This could have been so much better. Also, it doesn't look very good with my skin.

















This next one is killing me. It looks like an elegant evening dress in the bottle. I was even intrigued by it's shiny luxuriousness in the bristles of the brush. I applied it, hoping for that awestruck moment when you know you have something really cool going on....and as soon as it hit my nail it lost all will to live.

OPI - I've "Red" the Script. PASS.


















Shortly after this next photo, the bottle suffered a fatality on my back paving stones. I thought it would be like a Jack Russell Terrier and just bounce, but it shattered. Thankfully, I had worn it a few times so it was almost done anyway. Sad, tiny bottle.

Sally Girl - Firecracker. Lit-from-within, brownish-burgundy-red. It was a big polish in a little bottle.

















What is going on with Sinful Colors? This next one was practically solid in the bottle. I had to load up the brush to even get it to flow. What's worse is it doesn't even look like the same color. Very similar to Firecracker up there, but not half as good.

Sinful Colors - Burgundy Apple. I thought it would be darker and browner, maybe vampier. This is 3 coats and still uneven.
















As promised, here is the heinousness:

Look how pretty it is!!! But not on me!!! China Glaze - Sex On The Beach.

















It's a silty, silvery, chunky, grayed-out mauve. Really special. Like Unicorns having sex on the beach. For real.

On me?

Headache.


















Wow, I really complained a lot in this post!! I really love red though!! I just want us all to get good value and our expectations met. My advice: don't underestimate it; expand your red horizons. You might be very surprised. There is a red for everyone.

Even this guy. Look at that nice fall red he's sporting while stopping by to see what I'm up to today.